Why Seoul Taxi Drivers Are C*nts

I shall relate to you some of my experiences with Seoul’s least upstanding citizens, the utter cunts that drive the cabs around here, but before I start, let me state in no uncertain terms that these cretins in no way reflect the general behaviour or attitudes of the general population of South Korea.

Episode 1: Getting charged the equivalent of a 20 mile journey for a 2 minute ride. So, it’s late, I’m drunk, I hail a cab. “Please take me to a cheap motel you know, thanks”. He says “OK, 20 000 won” (about a tenner UK). I’m thinking ‘that’s cheap for a motel, they are usually around 30 000’, and proceed. He takes me about half a mile down the road, and asks for the money. Suddenly it dawns on me in my drunken state that it was some kind of finder’s fee! Fuck this guy. A large argument ensued, during which, let me say, I negotiated a substantial discount. The hotel was 100 000! I went home. Cunt.

Episode 2: Given the runaround.

I exit Yongsan station, one of Seoul’s biggest, and go to the taxi rank. I get in and say, ‘take me to Itaewon please’. He says ‘you need to go from the other side of the road’. So I do. What do the taxis on the other side of the road say? You’ve guessed it, ‘you need to go from the other side of the road’. They laughed at me at both sides. Names were called.

Episoide 3: Actually being robbed.

I took a long taxi ride home – about 30 minutes and got charged the usual, about 35 000 won, which is about 18 quid. I handed the guy a fifty (about 25 quid) and I’m waiting for my change. He leaned back and said ‘you only gave me a five’. Cunt. I knew I hadn’t as I’d only just withdrawn the banknote, and also knew, immediately, that I’d been stung good and proper. On knowing this, when I got out of the cab, I snapped a photo of the back of it, and reported this guy to the authorities. They got back to me a few weeks later saying that he’d been fined. Fuck you, you robbing cunt.

Sidenote: A friend of mine had a similar experience with a taxi driver and ended up fighting, which cost my friend a very hefty fine. This had only happened a few weeks before, so I was very careful not to just thump the dude.

Episode 4: Crazy bastard.

I’m with a couple of friends, taking a short ride, and the driver is weaving all over the place, doing handbrake turns and jumps over the speed-bumps. We were all fucking terrified. When we arrived at our destination, he tried to charge us extra for the ‘thrills’. Fuck. Off. You lunatic.

Taxi drivers in Seoul are complete dicks. Not all of them, but a disproportionate amount. Outside of Seoul they tend to be much nicer, and more honest. In Seoul, they’re a bunch of cunts, frankly.